Do you like protein? Of course you do, you wouldn’t be reading this article if you didn’t. But what if you’re not just fond of protein, but you are completely addicted to it? Take a seat, put your feet up, grab your favourite protein, and have a read to see if maybe you love protein a smidge too much.
1. Your water bottle is a shaker bottle
Lots of people carry water bottles around. After-all, it’s important to stay hydrated. But not you. You are rarely seen outside of a 30 cm radius away from a shaker bottle of some sort. In fact, you have so many shaker bottles that your pantry is an avalanche of plastic and springy ball, just waiting to happen.
2. Parts of your body is always covered in some protein residue
Those protein buckets and tubs are deep. You’re inevitably going to get some protein on the outside of your arm when you go digging around for the last few scoops. Consequently, this protein then gets transferred everywhere and everything smells like protein. This includes your clothes, your car, and even your dog.
3. You have one arm that is bigger than the other
You shake so much protein, that you actually have one arm that is bigger and stronger than the other. As such, you have to train the other arm just that little bit harder to balance it out.
4. You get anxious when you run low on protein
Some people feel anxious when they have a big business meeting. But not you. You find your palms start to get sweaty when your supply of protein begins to dip below half full. Quick! Put an order in before it’s too late!
5. You always purchase the largest possible size
Forget those tiny 900 gram tubs, even 2.3 Kg is too small. You go straight for the big 4.5 Kg bag. Even then, you wish all your favourite brands just stopped mucking around and made a 10 Kg bag. After all, it would only last you about a month.
6. You take the anabolic window very seriously
You have no doubt that the anabolic window exists. In fact, you believe it religiously. After every workout, you must slam down a protein shake. Because if you don’t, all your gains will be gone and your session will be wasted!
7. You know the protein content of every single brand
Optimum, Maxs, Gaspari, Elemental, BSN, you know it all. You have at some stage tried every product, and in that time you have memorised the protein content of each product. By now, you’re such an expert that you dish out your encyclopaedic knowledge and quote numbers to your friends off the top of your head.
8. You have at least three types of protein in your pantry at any given time.
You have a fast digesting hydrolysed whey protein for after training, a blended protein for use during the day, and a casein for use before bed. Sometimes you change out the blended whey for a mass gainer when you’re bulking or a fat loss protein for when you’re cutting.
9. You die a little inside every time you spill some protein
No matter how experienced you are, spilling a little powder is inevitable, especially towards the bottom of the bag/tub. Each time it happens, you can’t help but feel a little hurt. There has been more than one situation where you’ve looked at the small mound of powder on the floor, and actually considered licking it up.
10. You never share your protein
Your friend has forgotten his protein and asks for a sip. You always say no because you need every last single drop. It’s your protein for your gains, no one is allowed to rob you of your gains.